Category Archives: Review


This review is not featured on Bitch Flicks as part of their review of the Oscar Best Picture nominees.

Admittedly, Avatar isn’t my thing, I’m not big on James Cameron or any alien films (not only his), I’ve never been interested in Star Wars or Star Trek (though I have seen enough of both franchises to hold a conversation), so I wasn’t planning on watching Avatar at any point in my life.  However, this afternoon, I changed my mind, when a free screening became available to me.  With my original plans canceled and a spare 2 and a half hours available, I tucked into James Cameron’s latest film.

Well, Avatar wasn’t what I thought it would be, but it wasn’t any better.  During the first half of the movie I spent most of it developing alternative titles ending with “in space.”  “Pocahontas in space,” “Dances with Wolves in space,” and “Titanic in Space” all sprang to mind.  For the most part, it seems Cameron has taken plots from various other films, thrown them together, died it blue and placed it on the fictitious planet, Pandora, to create a Sci-fi retelling of the Pocahontas mythos.

In this version, instead of John Smith, it is Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), the wheel chair bound ex-marine who takes over his dead twin’s avatar mission, who falls in love with the Na’vi people, and specifically, the clan leader’s daughter, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana).  He begins as an undercover spy, trying to learn about the Pandora natives’ culture to help the visiting Earthling’s military and big businesses.  However, as all stories like this go, he falls in love and is torn between the two worlds and races.  The plot is laid out in the previews, and if you need help, Cameron lays the foreshadowing on thick through out the film, but then the plot isn’t why most people are seeing this film, is it?

Special effects wise, the film is pretty fascinating.  What more can one say?  Seeing this on the big screen and in 3D, would probably have held my attention more, but alas, my free screening wasn’t at such a high standard.  Would I sit through it again if I could get a free ticket to the 3D IMAX experience?  No, but if you’re debating seeing it, definitely spend the extra and get your full money’s worth.

As much as I would like to sit through a movie like this and enjoy it for what it is (ground-breaking Sci-fi entertainment that will go down in history), I simply can’t as James Cameron’s attempt to create a more spiritual, natural, and peaceful society, leaves me annoyed that once again this idea being filtered through a white, Western male member of patriarchal society.  Some theorist will consider Cameron’s Alien trilogy feminist texts, because of Sigourney Weaver’s  empowered Ripley  (and legend says, it was written to be asexual–with casting deciding the character’s sex), but still has to prove her femininity and womanliness by saving cats and small children.  I fear, that many feminist theorist will attempt to assign some prestige on Avatar as well, for creating a world where the people worship a female entity, “Eywa,” the Clan leader’s female mate/wife is as powerful as him, and the female lead is as empowered as Ripley.  However, like Ripley, Neytiri as her feminine trappings as well, as her power can be explained away through her heritage.

When Neytiri first meets Sully, she commands the other warriors to stand down and allow her to take him to their leader–who just happens to be her father.  The warriors listen and obey her, but is it because she is a powerful woman, or because her father and mother are leaders among the Na’vi?  Does she earn her power or inherit it?  Similarly, in the legend of Pocahontas,* would John Smith have been saved if it was by any other girl in the village or because it was the Chief’s daughter who “saved” him?  Furthermore, to add to Neytiri’s street cred, her great-grandfather was Toruk Makto, a legendary Na’vi leader, basically giving her a birth right to power and respect among her people.  For those who don’t believe it, I ask, would Sully have survived his first night among the Na’vi if the one speaking for him was any other woman and not the daughter of the clan leader and shaman (or would that be sha-lady in this case)?

I’ll leave you with that to ponder, while I try to flush the symbolism that taming a wild animal is as simple as penetrating it with your mystical hair, and end this review on a generally positive note.  The first two-thirds are fairly entertaining, but the large battle scenes were just that–large battle scenes.  Perhaps at an IMAX or in 3D, I wouldn’t have lost focus, but I simply wasn’t interested and played on my phone instead.  A lot of people will see this and love it, but if Science fiction, action, and special effect-laden films aren’t you’re cup a tea, you probably won’t leave the theater an Avatar fan.

The Stats:

Director: James Cameron

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Signourney Weaver

Rated: PG-13

162 minutes

*I refer to the story of Pocahontas as legends and myths, because it is questionable how much of John Smith’s accounts are exaggerated, not to mention that he was also rescued by a Turkish princess when captured in what is now Hungary.  The stories are similar, so the question is: did John Smith make a habit of being rescued by pre-teen girls or did he blend the two together for his own benefit.




It took long enough, but I finally saw Nine this week.  I had been uber excited to see it for a good 6 months, only to have my hopes dashed by the critics panning the film.  Nevertheless, I held on to some hope.  After all, the critics tend to be extra harsh on musicals.  Sadly, the critics were being too kind, as the first thing from my lips as I left the cinema were “Rob Marshall must hate women!”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of the stage show, I’ve seen Fellini’s 8 1/2 (the 1963 film which Nine is based on), so I knew there were misogynistic undertones.  I understood that all the women were either whores, virgins, or mothers to Guido (Daniel Day-Lewis).  However, nothing could prepare me for the sexist changes Marshall’s team made to the original script.  This film, and his earlier work which focused on weak (Memoirs of a Geisha 2005) and stupid (Chicago 2002) women, leads me to believe he just hates women.

Let’s begin with the biggest travesty of the film: Lilli.  In the film, Lilli (Judi Dench) is Guido’s sounding board, a maternal figure, a former member of the Folies Bergére, and the costumer/make up artist for his films.  However, in the stage version, she is still the voice of reason, but also his producer.  SAY WHAT?   You’ve got to be kidding, women don’t know how to produce films.  Guido would never be subordinate to a woman.  No, no, we must change this!  Let’s make this old woman in charge of making younger, better looking women even more beautiful.  Ah, yes, that’s better.  Now, let’s add insult to injury and keep the producer, but change it to a chauvinist man, who wants to Guido to cast his sexy, nubile mistress in the film.  If someone can give me one good reason they stripped Lilli of her title, hats off to you.  In the meantime, let’s move on to Luisa.

According to my understanding, in the stage production, Luisa and Guido visit the spa together in a last-ditch attempt to fix their floundering marriage.  In the film, Guido runs away from the film studio to hide out at the spa.  Luisa (Marrion Cotillard) doesn’t even physically enter the spa until 30 minutes into the film.  Much like Lilli, Luisa’s stripped of any strength and agency.  She comes when Guido calls, (well, actually she comes when Lilli calls as Guido tells her not to come so he can get with his mistress), sings a song, puts up with his crap then finally leaves him–only to return in an ambiguous ending that leads the audience to think she might forgive him for his betrayal.  The basic story character arch is there, but any sympathy for her is missing.

In the same boat is Carla (Penelope Cruz), his long-term mistress, who decides to take a bunch of pills in hopes to end her life when Guido ends their relationship.  Once again, that’s the movie’s version.  In the play, she takes action, she divorces her husband and rushes to tell Guido they can be together, only to be ignored and rejected by him.  She comes to her senses and leaves him as well.  I realize the story is about these women being obsessed with a man, but why did Carla have to attempt suicide?  Why can’t she develop from the stereotypical mistress, to a woman who finally realizes she can be on her own?*  Furthermore, why did Marshall and company strip the script of any character development?

I could handle the rest of this crap, if Guido at least matured as he does on stage.  After all the women leave him, he contemplates suicide but finally his 9-year-old self comes in, convinces him it’s time to grow up (song: “Getting Tall”) and Guido can finally get back to work.  Once again, Marshall gives us nothing.  Guido disappears for a few years comes back, and finally can get to work, but does he really mature?  Does he make any amends?  Does he realize he’s a jack ass?  Of course not, because he’s Italian!

Apologies are in order, this “review” has become more of a bitter rant.  I really, really, really tried to keep it together, even waited a few days to let my blood cool, but it hasn’t worked.  I could go on about how they cut important songs (see “Be On Your Own” and “Getting Tall”), cut a major female character altogether, or completely WASTED Sophia Loren, but that would lead to a hole in the wall and my fist bleeding.  Instead, I’ll end this on a happy note, and I’ll share with you what I did like about Nine:

Saraghina**.  She’s a whore.  She owns it.  The End.

The Stats:

Director: Rob Marshall

Starring: A bunch of Oscar winners/nominees that were hired to add street cred to this hot mess.

Rating: PG-13

*Be On Your Own is actually one of the big numbers from the stage play and a major theme in Guido’s developing maturity in the course of the musical.

**Played by Fergie (aka Stacy Ferguson), but mainly because I love her song and I love this clip from the original

Pirate Radio–the Boat that Rocked!

theboatthatrockedkj09-06-27Originally titled The Boat that Rocked in the UK when it was released in April, Pirate Radio will finally hit US cinemas on November 13th. Inspired by true stories of illegal radio stations based in the North Sea, Pirate Radio brings the energy and music of the “Swinging 60s” to the big screens.

The story is incredibly British (and quite educational for the non-Brit), as apparently the BBC only allowed rock/pop music on the radio for 60 minutes a day, leading DJs to create their own pirate stations on actual ships–as they were not technically on UK soil and therefore outside the law.

Plot-wise, there isn’t too much of a plot. It’s primarily a bunch of vignettes (rather like Love Actually) centered around the station/ship: Radio Rock. There’s Bill Nighy (playing Bill Nighy) aka Quentin the owner, his godson Carl (Tom Sturridge), The Count (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Dave (Nick Frost), Gavin (Rhys Ifans), the other DJs and Felicity (Katherine Parkinson) as the only female allowed on the ship at all times because she is of “the lesbian persuasion.” The comedy follows the characters as they recreate the 60s mantra “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll” on the ship, where women can only visit once a month, and attempt to out smart Sir Alistair Dormandy (Kenneth Branagh), Mr. Twat (Jack Davenport), and the rest of Parliament.

Aside from the historical angle, the brilliant cast, and the creative minds behind it, the number one reason to see this film is for the music. From start to finish you’ll be bopping along to classic rock and roll songs from the 60s. When American Graffiti was first screened, George Lucas and company knew they had a hit as soon as the opening credits began with the iconic “Rock Around the Clock.” The audience was singing and dancing along, and Pirate Radio captures that same energy and nostalgia. Though it is certainly less wholesome than young Ron Howard and Cindy Williams, it’s still a great ride from beginning to end.

The Stats:
Director: Richard Curtis
Starring: Bill Nighy, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kenneth Branagh
Rated: R
135 min.
Must see if you liked: American Graffiti
In theaters November 13, 2009.